Hellen Chen, a marital advisor, matchmaker and writer, recently delivered a "Love Workshop" in Los Angeles to working professionals.She issued the following report, which is of interest given the relatively large number of broken homes and relationships:
Among the attendees at the workshop were singles who have been looking for a compatible mate and divorcees who would like to step back into marriages again. Another part of the audience were married men and women who despite being successful in their careers, have not have much success at home.
My principle of "one plus one is more than two" has encouraged working professionals to not to look at marriage and family as a hassle, but rather as a way to expand one's growth as a person.
"We spend lots of hours at our work. But truthfully, when it is ready for us to kick the bucket, would we have regretted not having worked more hours? Or would we regret not having spent more time with the people we had loved?" I asked at the workshop.
The emphasis on academic achievements and then career achievements and making money has not taught young adults how to nurture relationships.
Jean C, a marketing executive for over 15 years, was married in her 20s but got divorced 6 years after.
"I am a typical workaholic. I would not think twice to spend huge amount of hours at my work but I would simply not spend time to take care of my spouse." Jean said.
In this workshop, Chen also addressed the issue of infidelity - why most couples would mishandle it and while the marriage could be salvaged in many cases, why most people decided to give it up.
This lesson proved valuable for Jenny L, a mother with 3 children who has been married for 20 years.
"When my husband got involved in an affair, I cried my eyes out and thought how unfair it was to have this happened to me at age 50." Jenny recalled.
She decided that the workshop would be her last resort: to learn how to salvage her marriage or just let it go.
Jenny walked away surprised with her discovery.
"There have been long time marital problems which I have chosen to brush aside, always with the excuse of no time and 'I am busy working'" Jenny said. "But what has really surprised me is in the same way, I have brushed aside my own interest and my learning. I have forgotten how unhappy I have become -- with myself."
Jenny made the decision to do all she could to improve herself first. "I see that the old adage of 'don't point a finger but lend a hand' applies very much in how we treat ourselves and how we treat our loved ones." Jenny said.
Chen has started an international Love You Forever campaign, to encourage working professionals to learn about how to create a lasting relationships. She said she has helped more than 100 singles tie the knot, and she hopes to personally help another 60 people this year to step onto the red carpet.
Chen’s book is ”The Matchmaker of the Century.” She has a website of the same name, http://MatchmakeroftheCentury.com